Hi guys,
So it’s a been almost two month. I could wax poetry about how busy and depressed I’ve been, but I honestly that’s not important. What is important is that I’m back!
And perhaps I have saved you. My conversations for the last two months have literally just been about Ben Barnes and my family tree that I have been working on.
But I have some things to say and the time to say it, so here goes:
hot and heavy
I love Lucy Dacus, the indie rock singer/songwriter and a member of Boygenius (along with Julien Baker and Phoebe Bridgers) and she recently released the song ‘Hot & Heavy’ which has had profound impact on me over the past couple of weeks.
The lyrics and the video tell the story of young Lucy coming to terms with who older Lucy is. In a statement about the song, Dacus said:
“I thought I was writing ‘Hot and Heavy’ about an old friend, but I realized along the way that it was just about me outgrowing past versions of myself…So much of life is submitting to change and saying goodbye even if you don’t want to. Now whenever I go to places that used to be significant to me, it feels like trespassing the past. I know that the teen version of me wouldn’t approve of me now, and that’s embarrassing and a little bit heartbreaking, even if I know intellectually that I like my life and who I am.”
I have often felt that the one person that I was working to impress was my younger self. I had many dreams for my life, perhaps they were unrealistic when I did not a concept of what debt, money, and responsibilities meant, but to me they were a guiding light. And every setback and disappointment hits me harder because I feel as if I am disappointing the younger me. And what do I have left if I’ve given up on those dreams? At least my dreams made me feel as if I was working towards something, I was on a path.
So how do I marry the person who I am now with the person I wanted to be? When I look back at my old diaries I barely recognise the person that wrote those things (my priorities were messed up), yes I had dreams but I feel like I am more focused, more ambitious, even though I’m less starry-eyed, and way more jaded. Why am I trying so hard to impress someone that I no longer know?
I like having dreams, I like having things to work towards but perhaps it is time for me to stop measuring my progress according to benchmarks made by a child who didn’t even know what the letters SARS stood for.
Watch the video for ‘Hot & Heavy’ here:
let’s talk about these snl boys
I have a vested interest in Saturday Night Live. By an interest, I mean I’ve been watching every episode for the show for decades (except the Trump and Musk episodes) and I have a constant mild obsession with the show and the behind-the-scenes antics.
Before the past week, there was nothing too scandalous in the SNL goss – Pete Davidson had bagged himself another hot girl™, Phoebe Dynevor from Bridgerton; Colin Jost slimed his hot girl™ wife Scarlett Johansson at the MTV Teen Choice Awards, nothing too hectic. But then, I got news that affected me personally, John Mulaney, who is on the list of the top 5 men I would run away with if they asked, announced he and his wife Annamarie Tendler were divorcing. That was incredibly sad because they were adorable together and he seemed to really love her. But then it got worse.
People reported that he is now dating Olivia Munn. Now, I’m not the biggest Olivia fan, she has made some very misogynistic comments over the years and has very strong ‘pick me’ ‘cool girl’ energy that I thought expired in 2014. She is also notorious for being involved in cheating scandals and divorces with other male celebs (see Justin Timberlake, Chris Pratt, Kacey Musgraves’ ex-husb). She has previously dated other SNL boys like Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte, and has apparently been shooting her shot with John for a while. According to Deuxmoi, she was the one who sent the tip to People and you know what, let me just keep quiet now.
other important celeb relationship updates:
Bennifer is back on, and this is good news. Ben Affleck looks his best when he is with JLo, and I love a chaotic Leo pairing. (also happy birthday Pia)
Taika Waititi (another member of my top 5) is apparently dating Rita Ora but I have chosen to ignore this, because I can only handle so much bad news at once.
Ariana Grande (bestie) married her boyfriend, real estate agent Dalton Gomez and WE wish her well and a happy future.
A$ap Rocky confirmed his relationship with Rihanna by calling her the love of his life and which I understand, but has anyone checked on Leonardo DiCaprio lately?
Trevor Noah and Minka Kelly have broken up, apparently due to long distance even though they recently bought a home together. Okay? But they were so nondescript that I forgot they were together.
recs
Movie: I recently did an Instagram Live with The Bachelor SA season 2 contestant, Mulesa Lumina talking about how pop culture shapes our romantic expectations, and on there I said I don’t think that romantic comedies give us an unrealistic expectation of love. But I lied because after that I watched Leap Year and Palm Springs, and now I am crying in the club. Palm Springs is especially good as it follows a couple stuck in a time loop. You can rent it on DStv Box Office.
Series: I really enjoyed the series, The Flight Attendant recently. Kaley Cuoco plays Cassie, an irresponsible flight attendant whose life changes when she becomes a prime suspect in a murder investigation. You can read my review on it here, and watch it on DStv Now here.
what i’ve been writing
I wrote about the neo-noir South African drama, Skemerdans twice. For Channel24, I reviewed the show and spoke to the technical and storytelling achievements of it. For Tagged Online, I wrote about how having coloured people write coloured stories has resulted in Skemerdans becoming one of the most apt forms of representation. And I also interviewed the actor Kevin Smith on the podcast.
For ASA Magazine, I spoke to influencer and artist , Seth Shezi about his favourite hangout spots in Cape Town. You can read it here.
what’s ign crushing on
This week on the podcast we were joined by Fangirlish editor-in-chief, LIssete Lanuza Saenz about the appeal of the Shadow and Bone universe, the ship wars in Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist and crazy fandom experiences. We also interviewed Erica Wessels, Hlubi Mboya and Donovan Marsh from the new Netflix film, I Am All Girls which tackles the topic of human trafficking.